Day Two Without Oliver

I know this isn't you, rather your uncle Pepper, but I was extremely camera shy when I was younger so unfortunately there are zero pictures that exist of you and me when we were younger. If that were you instead of Pepper, this would be my most favoritest picture ever.

I came home to an empty house after work today. As I was walking back from the mailbox, I was expecting to hear you cry like you did when you were left home alone but I only heard the sound of silence echoing from inside the black hole that is this house. I knew you weren't there but when I came to the top of the stairs, I looked over to your favorite brown chair in hopes that you may have magically reappeared. I was really mopey today. I had a terrible time staying focused at work just to come home to wander around aimlessly looking for something to do. I finally cleaned up the garage from the mess I made building your Box with dad and I took your headstone out to your grave. I made it look pretty nice but it will look much better when I get you some perennial flowers. I know I won't always be around to take care of your final resting place but at least if I put some nice flowers in, you'll be looking good forever. I got really choked up when I was setting everything up, when my mind drifted off to the good memories we have of you chasing me around the field there as I mindlessly smacked golf balls from one end to the other. It was always easy to get you enough exercise when you were younger; we would just do a few laps around the field and you would be pooped.

Anyway, I'm starting to get a better handle now on my emotions for you. Small steps. Mom and Katie hinted at giving me a new puppy for my birthday but I told them that it was much too soon for me. I need more time for me heart to heal and to get settled down in my life. I want my next dog to not be at that house but to be at a place that we can share for at least a few years. I don't know where that would be but probably either in the Jamestown area or in Buffalo. Right now, I'm just hoping Jonathan gets that job he wanted so we can get a place together. He wants a puppy right away - its been over a year already since Tucker passed away.

My car has been a piece of crap lately. A big ol' money pit. Its incredibly upsetting for me that I lost my beloved Roxanne and my precious puppy Oliver within four months of each other.

Good night, Puppy

Our final night together