The hardest part about this is the guilt I feel for not taking better care of you in your final months. I know living in my parents' basement is soul crushing but it is no reason to not take you for a walk everyday like I was when we lived together in Buffalo, or to do something more to protect you from falling down the stairs. I know its only been one day since you went off to that special place but I was totally lost without you today. I had no one to greet me when I came home and no one to cuddle with after dinner. I tried playing Super Mario Brothers like we did in the old days to pass the time but it didn't work. I couldn't stay focused, my mind kept drifting off to you and the empty spot next to me in the big green chair.
There was never a convenient way for me to take care of you after I moved to college, you were already ten years old by then. You were getting the care I wanted for you when I was away at school then when we were sharing my apartment together, I never had enough time to give you the attention you needed. I was caught in a tough spot but I did the best that I could and we had a good thing going. I should have never moved back home after graduation. You were in such good shape then (I walked you well over a mile everyday), and you were doing so well but you declined so rapidly after we moved back home. I know I couldn't have stopped the cataracts, or the arthritis, or the deafness but I should've done more to take care of you and help you make your final months more enjoyable for the both of us. I'm sure my pain for your passing will fade soon enough and my need to write you these long letters will dissipate too, but there will always be a special place in my heart for you, best friend, probably my left ventricle. Just saying.
Good Night, Ol' Cloudy Eyes
<3
P.S. I've made an extended edition director's cut of Oliver's tribute video:
The new stuff starts around minute 13.
There was never a convenient way for me to take care of you after I moved to college, you were already ten years old by then. You were getting the care I wanted for you when I was away at school then when we were sharing my apartment together, I never had enough time to give you the attention you needed. I was caught in a tough spot but I did the best that I could and we had a good thing going. I should have never moved back home after graduation. You were in such good shape then (I walked you well over a mile everyday), and you were doing so well but you declined so rapidly after we moved back home. I know I couldn't have stopped the cataracts, or the arthritis, or the deafness but I should've done more to take care of you and help you make your final months more enjoyable for the both of us. I'm sure my pain for your passing will fade soon enough and my need to write you these long letters will dissipate too, but there will always be a special place in my heart for you, best friend, probably my left ventricle. Just saying.
Good Night, Ol' Cloudy Eyes
<3
P.S. I've made an extended edition director's cut of Oliver's tribute video:
The new stuff starts around minute 13.
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