I made this video of you on one of those long days you were left home alone. I hated leaving you home alone but it had to be done. I didn't get a roommate until the spring so the fall was a lonely time for you. When I first made this, I didn't watch any of it, but rather just sped the tape up 512-times and added one of Joel's catchy tunes. I finally browsed through some of the tape when I was putting together your tribute video and it absolutely broke my heart. In the YouTube version of this, it just looks like you slept a lot and walked around a bit. What you can't see on YouTube is that you're wandering around lost in the apartment crying for help. I feel so terrible for this now. If only I could have had a roommate sooner, or had someone to come in and check on you. But I will say this, I walked you more on the days I left you home alone and gave you much bigger treats and much more lovin when I came home from my long days at school and work.
I remember when you would chase after one of the many rabbits in that Buffalo neighborhood and I remember how I would chuckle to myself when you would not see a rabbit sitting no more than ten feet from where we were walking. How insensitive I was. But my goodness you were so strong and so in shape back then. You had buns of steel and shoulders that could kill. So did I, I actually exercised at the gym, ran, and walked back then. Those were good times for the both of us.
I find myself feeling more regret about what I hadn't done for you that feeling sadness that you have passed. I think that's why it is so hard on me and why I keep writing to you.
Good night, Oliver
<3
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